Dancing With The Stars -- Week Seven

We were reminded that Cloris was booted off a couple weeks too late and that we are going to have the first ever Team Dance... (Team Cha Cha vs Team paso Doble wherethey will also get a team score) Oh yeah... everyone is stressed out... duh.

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The credits roll and we see that Julianne is still in the credits although Edyta will be dancing for her this week.

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson step up first and have to do teh Fox Trot... In one of the most boring video openings... Warren watches some professional men dance. He comes out looking dapper and looks what I think is great... and a lot of it is becasue of Kym's great choreography. She is really coming out of her shell this season now that she actually has somone who can dance or isn't 80 years old. I liked it more than my wife did. Len starts off by saying it wasn't his best dance and a tiny bit of a disappointment. Bruno admits he's gay? Not sure. Tough Tough Tough... -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani has had a difficult week according to Tom. She is nervous that she doesn't know if she was in the bottom two or not. Susan is such a turd and she is the only star to ever yell at Tony (the sweetest male dancer in the history of the world). Susan is a turd. She looks like she wants to cry a bunch. THERE SHE GOES! Cry! Cry! Cry! She is dancing the Paso Doble and is covered in stripper glitter. For a woman who has been a soap star for years, she has no passion whatsoever..... and it's not good. How did she make it this far? Bruno liked that!?!?!? Carrie Ann too? Len liked it too? Screw you guys. She's obviously on some sort of artifical assistance... -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke are up third. Maurice is under a tremendous amount of stress and during the Saturday rehearsal, he hyperextends his knee and we finally get a look into the real Maurice when he isn't just screaming stupid cliches. I actually like him after that... even though he is sad and hurt. He became more of a person to me. His dance was nice to me. The judges thought it was nice. -- (Scores 8, 9 , 8 - for a total of 25)

Cody Linley & Edyta Sliwinski are up fourth. Cody gets a new partner and they will be dancing Vienese Waltz but first, let's visit the Mormon after her surgery while she wears an AC/DC shirt. Hey guess what? They need to learn each other. Oh well... It is really nice to see Edyta back. I thought it was a sweet dance and my wife is criticizing his arm extensions. Len and Bruno were critical and Carrie Ann thought it was great. -- (Scores 8, 7, 7 - for a total of 22)

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer have to dance the dance of love (Rumba) and by the video montage, the lack of self-esteem of Lance has finally gotten to Lacey who can't help him anymore. Great drama and thankfully it was good television. They are going to dance it barefoot and it begins a great interaction between them where they get into a big baby fight. yay!!!!!!!!!! They look hapy on the show though and begin their dance to a John Mayer song. Dance looked good to me. Bruno too. Carrie said it was her best dance yet and Len hated it. Of course he did. -- (Scores 9, 7, 9 - for a total of 25)

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough dance last and she looks to regain first place this week. They are going to do a Foxtrot... after a pretty boring montage. It was such a graceful dance and Derek is a great dancer. She better get good scores. Judges will give her good scores.-- (Scores 10, 10, 10 - for a total of 30)

We have a new feature this year... Team dances where the contestants compete individual dances and then as a team for a group score. This could be an absolute trainwreck possibly. Warren and Susan were made captains and allowed to pick teams.

Team Cha Cha has three members Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer, Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani, and Cody Linley & Edyta Sliwinski. They are first and everyone stands around in a circle and they compliment how wonderful they are. Then... they are al nervous about if they will pull it off... *yawn* The dance starts and my gut reaction is that it is unfair to Susan since the only other two women are professionals. There is a lot of solo dancing for a team dance. Susan is on some sort of drug... I swear... The judges thought that the dance was borderline bad and Carrie is brutally honest about the unison dancing. Every one of them said that Lance and Lacey saved the dance. -- (Scores 6, 7, 7 - for a total of 20 -- Each performer gets 20 more points added to their scores.)

Time for Team Paso Doble who has three members Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke, Brooke Burke & Derek Hough, and Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson. The video montage is more fun simply because of Warren and Derek. Wow. Their dance was far better than the first one and I hope the scores reflect that. Even Maurice pulled his weight on that one. Bruno loved it. Carrie loved it. -- (Scores 10, 9, 10 - for a total of 59)

Just to remind you... of tonight's scores...

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 59
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 54
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 50
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer -- 45
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani -- 44
Cody Linley & Edyta Sliwinski -- 42