1. Castration of a Construction Worker -- I was walking Tucker with his collar the other morning when a worker from my next door neighbor's construction job popped his head out. He asked me, "What happened to my little buddy?" This large fella over 6 feet tall with tattoos and a shaved head was serious as he loves playing with Tucker. My answer was... "He had his balls chopped off." He responded with... "You know... when they did that to me... they didn't put a collar around my neck. I quickly...and I mean quickly responded with... "Yeah... the priest only said... I now pronounce you man and wife." The whole crew laughed at that one and I have a new best friend.
2. Routine Castration -- When we picked up Tucker the other day, the receptionist said... "It was a routine castration...no problems." At the use of the words routine and castration together, both I and the fella behind me winced. There is nothing routine about castration. Nothing. That's why Tucker wears a collar.
3. National Epidemic -- TWO Many TWOs -- Driving down the street the other day, I began to notice something extremely important. Our country is in a national epidemic. We don't have enough "2"s to go around. I say this as I passed the local Exxon. All the numbers in the dollar position are in the $2 range. It is a bunch of store bought replacements or homemade "2"s. No gas stations look right. We need to find more twos!!!
4. Tucker's Escape -- A couple of weeks ago, I came home for lunch one day from work. I opened the door like I normally do and I called out to Tucker like I normally do -- only to not hear the normal collar jiggle that I normally hear. I was a bit scared. When I climbed over the fence that we have keeping him from exitting the kitchen to the rest of the house I could see that the back door was open. My heart started to race and panic. (I swore that I had locked it.) 5 seconds later after I had run through all the possibilities of where our dear dog could have gone, Tucker can inside with dirt all over his nose. I want to believe that I forgot to lock the door and he opened it up so he could run around outside.... The door has been locked ever since... smart dog.
5. Governor James McGreevey has been given the opportunity to write a book. It is not titled yet. Matt and I decided to come up with some possible names for the book.
a. "Stickin' It to Everyone"
b. "Trenton Makes, The World Takes....It Up the Ass"
c. "Loose Lips and Looser Anuses: My Days in Trenton"
d. Golan, Golan, Go-long.
6. Long Lasting Velvet Bimple Dog Chew -- As a treat for cutting his nuts off, we gave Tucker a Cornstarch Velvet Bimple Dog Chew. It was advertised as being for large dogs 44-85 pounds (Tucker is 23 pounds), long lasting and tastes like Santa Fe Chicken (as opposed to the Oven Roasted Chicken). Tucker finished the whole thing in 17 hours or so. Yeah... truth in advertising.
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