Monday, September 18, 2006

Shocking News -- Breaking Up With a Friend

When I first got involved with my wife, I had to tell her about one of my best friends that I thought she might not like. It turns out... she hated him with a passion in a short period of time, but to her credit, she let me continue hanging out with this friend for our entire relationship.

It is easy to see why she didn't like him. He doesn't have many redeeming qualities from her point of view, but I was alright with most of these.

He was loud...

He was threatening...

He was annoying...

He was expensive...

He used violence to solve his problems...

BUT I love(d) him anyway because he cracked me up all the time and could made me scream... "HOLY SHIT!" at any time with the stories he told.

He was one of my best friends, but now, in 2006, I am finally getting over him. His antics have become tiresome and needlesome. He seems loud and unconvincing. He also wastes much of my time.

That is why I am giving him up. Breaking up with him. Dropping him to the curb. the energy level and enthusiasm that I used to possess when he was around has gone by the wayside.

I break up with you now my former friend... Professional Wrestling... I break up with you and wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours.

I might come back to you one day, but for now, I am putting my gear into a box and focussing on grown up things -- like Nip/Tuck and The Shield and Rescue Me.

LUCHA!!!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you send this letter in to Entertainment Weekly? Their breakup letters were hilarious.

-Shari

Smelmooo said...

How does one do that?

steakbellie said...

You're a shitty friend Mr Smelmooo, I busted my ass for your entertainment, I am scarred, I am broken.

I dont understand where things went wrong, how could you do this now? Dont you know that Shawn Michaels and I brought back DX, just because it was your FAVORITE years ago? Now we're in a CATACLYSMIC battle with the MacMahons for our very lives, and you leave us for some woman.

I dont know if I want to Pedigree you, or weep upon your soft shoulders, you've hurt me so deeply......

Dont think you can just waltz back into my life when it's convenient for you...goodbye.

-Triple H-

szg said...

It's about time.

Now that you're broken up, let me let you in on a little secret.....

It's all real.

Smelmooo said...

Holy smoly.

I cannot believe what you are telling me.

They lied to me all these years?

That's exactly why I need to move on.

HHH -- damn you and your washed up idea of Generation X and making me watch that hose bag Vince McMahon character that was only fun or original about 7 years ago.

I think the final straw was the come back of Chris Masters... if the writers don't understand what an absolute waste he is... then they don't understand the public.

steakbellie said...

but you'll never know.....
unless of course you're open to cheating.....

Smelmooo said...

What?

Anonymous said...

wow. what a challenging time in life. I am proud of you and wish you the best as you move on from here.
-Lori

steakbellie said...

oh COME ON,
we all know you're gonna be on WWE.com whenever your wife is away!