Monday, August 21, 2006

Flavor of Love-isms

Ok... I may be the only 30 something old fella who was super psyched about Flavor of Love returning. No ... really. So three episodes are in the bank... and I wrote down a lot of the Flavorisms cracked me up.

Mind you... there were not all said by Flavor Flav... He is the classy on the show... most of these were said by the extremely classy ladies vying for his smooches and love. These ladies are to be hereby referred to as chicks as I don't think many of them merit the description of woman or lady or human.

* "I exude Buckwildedness..." said by a chick named Buckwild. Pictured below is Buckwild.

* "Please don't interrupt my prayers... or God will direct me to kick your ass. " said by a chick who was in trouble for getting in a fight with another chick.

* "I tried to be friendly with her... I offered her lip chap. " said by same woman above.

* "I had to mix myself up into the mixer. " I forget who said this, but it was so absurd.

* "I like Latino women... my last three kids were from a beautiful latino woman. " Flavor Flav... oh dear...

* "You cooler than a polar bear's toenails, dog. " One of the chick's description of Flavor Flav's Flavorfulness....

* "Flav-lation. " wow....

* "I did say something consisting of lesbianism... " One of the chicks trying to explain that kissing a woman doesn't constitute lesbianism...

* "I don't remember... I was too distracted... but i do know one thing... SHE DID HER JOB WELL... " Flavor was descripbing his spy's description... he completely glazed over all the descriptions....

* "What is that F-ed up smell in my crib? " Someone pooped on his floor and this was his reaction. Below is a picture of the pooper.

* "There's a wild gorilla loose in that bathroom. "Flav discovered who pooped on his floor and used this clever description as a method of 'teasing' the guilty pooping woman.

* "If I shit in someone's house, I leave. (That's brave.)" One chick's 'props' to another chick staying in the house after accidentally pooping in the house.

* "Flavor wrote me this Flavorgram because he knows I am the most intelligent and I can read it." One chick bragging about her 'intelligence.'

* "Beef tips.... "(Points at breasts) "cous cous..." (Points at ass....) Do I need to say more?

* There was a stripper pole on the bus.... no quotes... just jaw droppoing reactions to how these fine chicks have to react to the pole...

* "Every time he sees me, I am going to be the girl who did the poop thing." The response of the poop girl when she foudn out she was going to get osme alone time with her.

* "Tell me what woman can come into his house... go poo... AND STAY..." That chick is focussed... huh?

* "I'm only doing this Flav!!!" A chick yells as she guts a dead chicken... in a Soul Food restaurant kitchen. The next image was of a heart landing on a plate.

* "Flavor Flav!!" yelled by the chicks with Flav's response being "Baby Babes!!!"

* "Would you ever smooch him?" Smelmoo asked Tangent Woman after witnessing one chick smooch Flav. She squinted and freaked out with... "Nooo... I was just thinking about how gross he was." Heh heh...

* "The most worst, most nasty house I have ever been in." A chick reported when she witnessed a house they were tasked with cleaning for Flavor's love/respeck.

* "I happy I did because now I stand out." The pooping chick proudly exclaimed STILL in Episode three about her pooping on the floor.

* Not a quote... but there was a young chick whose shirt showed some pronounced nipples. The network covered them with little Flavor Flav heads. Awesome....

* "I am super duper excited to have some private time with Flav." The funny part was the emphasis on the words super duper.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

2 Things:
1. Woman's prayer: "Dear God, please forgive me for whooping that bitch ass."
2. I loved when Buckwyld asked for a chicken wing from Flav and then proceeded to take a drum stick.