Purina Dog Chow Diet -- A Wal-Mart Tale (or Tail)
I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow at Wal-Mart the other day and was in line to check out. Seeing the bag of food, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time I did it. But I said I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital because I'd been poisoned. I told her no, that I'd just been lying in the street licking my b*lls and a car hit me.