Top Five Saddest Things About Tucker Having Worms
1. We feel like we are bad parents.
2. His face just seems that much cuter because we feel so badly.
3. Smelmooo has to give up some of his beloved cheese so he can eat his pills.
4. He needs pills. :-(
5. As improbably as it is, I am afraid that we will see worms crawling all over the floor and then up the chairs and then onto the kitchen table and then... into our food and then... into our mouths and then... into our bellies or ears... like in Star Trek II: Wrath of Kahn. Crap... now it seems more plausible.
Top Five Mother's Day Activities That Are Good For Convict Mothers
1. Baking a file cake.
2. Making C4 cupcakes.
3. Playing Conjucal Bingo
4. Anything that involves pillows and fighting with them.
5. Solitary solitaire.
Top Five Movies That I Will Watch While The Wife is Away.
1. Challenge of the Superfriends - Disk 3
2. Greatest American Hero - Season 2 - Disk 2
3. The Woodsman
4. Blade: Trinity
5. Without a Paddle
Top Five Reasons Why Chappelle is on Hiatus
1. Bad Weed - Bitch!
2. He is afraid of these stupid people who are trying to censor everything we watch. Grow up people and turn the frigging channel off or get control of your kids if you don't want them exposed to the bad stuff! (I will now get off my soap box.) - Bitch!
3. It is a publicity stunt to promote the DVDs for his hilarious show -- Bitch!
4. He is still mourning the loss of Rick James -- Bitch!
5. Bad Weed -- Bitch! (a.k.a. fatigue)
Top Five People I Would Like to See Play a Retarded Person Instead of Rosie
1. Martha Stewart
2. Newt Gingrich
3. Dick Cheney
4. Keifer Southerland
5. ANYBODY!!!!
Top Five Places To Store Extra Stuff -- No Really... Stuff Goes There...
1. In the corner in a huge pile.
2. In the attic.
3. Under the bed.
4. In the basement.
5. Under the dining room table.
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